Odd Jobs: Easy as ABF

From the Ivies: A job that requires a bachelor's, but not a working knowledge of the alphabet song. 

Also necessary: Excellent interpersonal skills. Really, I mean it. Fine, I'll say it again. Excellent interpersonal skills. And the ability to communicate effectively in writing, for ironic redundancy. 

Adding to the redundancy/confusion are the additional, required minimum qualifications.

Of course, the scariest part of this ad is clause "G." (I hate that they got me to adapt their alphabet).