December 27, 2012

What's in a Name? (Guest Post: Charles Gilbert and Erica Johnson!)

You may be more familiar with the marketing name, Canola Oil. 

Now I know what you're thinking, but the name change was not due to feminist fryers. Instead, the real problem was that the original rapeseed oil was so toxic that the FDA banned it for human consumption in 1956.

And rumors that a few Southern Senators from a certain political party (which will go unnamed) have reintroduced it in hopes of combating unwanted sexual advances are completely false. I hope...

December 25, 2012

Happy Holidays from the US Post Office (BSB: Christmas Edition)

During the stressful holiday season, leave it to the USPS to up the anxiety level by attacking our precious care packages.
I assume the puncture's placement is supposed to be ironic.

December 24, 2012

Bonus BSB Christmas Eve Edition

Copyright stamps on your gifts: one reason you should never buy wrapping paper from the dollar store.

December 18, 2012

December 16, 2012

Perks of the Job!

And all along I've thought they did it for the high pay and great working conditions. Now I understand.

December 11, 2012

Cookin' with Grass!

From the same people who gave us repetitive wontons and food finding challenges comes "plant fried rice" and strong, if ambiguously worded, ordering instructions.  

December 9, 2012

December 6, 2012

"He-Man" (Guest Posting: Charles Gilbert and Erica Johnson!)

It's nice and all, but $6.99 seems a bit steep. It sure would be a "Christmas to Remember" though.  

Dad (to mom): Remember that time your son got me that me that random faded tee-shirt ornament?"
Mom: He's your son too!
Dad: Not after that. A tee-shirt ornament? I mean, really. There had to have been a better alternative. Like a lump of coal or a "World's Best Dad" mug.

December 4, 2012

The Place to Be!

Talk about a tourist trap. We could always rename Times Square "Diabetes Central."

December 2, 2012

Helping Nat Out (Odd Jobs)

This is a bit picky on my part, but shouldn't that be "Assist Nat, Director of Collective Development"?

November 25, 2012

Includes Typos: Odd Jobs

Skip down to the underlined material:
I love the complete abandonment of formal grammar by the second sentence. Attention to detail and excellent written communications skills? Kettle, meet pot.

November 20, 2012

Heeling Is Dangerous!

Aside from errant gunfire, my biggest hiking fear is encountering a dog that rolls over on command.

November 18, 2012

What's Your Worth? (Odd Jobs Series)

I just imagine someone with a thick Brooklyn accent shrugging and saying: "Whaddaya think? $50,600? $56,100? Hey, we're flexible. But this ain't Wall Street. $56,200? Fuhgeddaboudit"

November 15, 2012

Always Remember (Guest Posting: Meryl Zimmerman!)

This bit of brilliance is brought to you by the US Postal System, a component of the same government responsible for Congressional Act 52 Stat3515 U.S. CodeSec87a: The designation of Veterans' Day.

Apparently, they don't have access to google, a calendar, or spellcheck.

November 13, 2012

Boy-Cot Bad Spelling

This "Call to Action" has been gaining momentum in the aftermath of the election, and truthfully it's a protest I can endorse. Just as long as I'm still free to eat Papa John's pizza should the urge arise. 
And it's drawbridge people. One word. Get it together. 

November 8, 2012

While We Wait for Florida to Vote (Guest Signage: Ian Hoek Spaans!)

A reminder to extra-hungry Gainesville, FL Taco Bell patrons: Don't eat the counter. Or the sign. Or something. 
No wonder these people take twice as long as the rest of the country to vote. BTW Florida: the election's over.

November 6, 2012

Don't Block the Box

Back into investigative reporting mode, our team uncovered a difficult to spot bit of signage:
We dug deeper to uncover this:
We tried checking underneath the shelf:
Unsatisfied, we tossed the bottles aside.
Aha! It all made sense. But the clear message was being rudely ignored by a pile of sweaters. 
Unable to stand by idly in the face of injustice, our reporter asked an employee of the unnamed-for-legal-reasons establishment: "Why?" "Why would anyone treat a member of the electorate, or at least electricate, with such disdain?" 
The answer was simple: "The outlet doesn't work."

November 4, 2012

Hi, My Name Is: Odd Jobs

First off, no employment application system should be named "EasyChair." 
Secondly, let's chill on the exclamation marks. I'm glad my user name is available, but what's with the "Hello!"? A bit much, if you ask me. 
Finally, I understand different cultures have different naming systems, but I think we can all figure out how to divide our names without a help article.   

October 30, 2012

October 23, 2012

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Font

Today's offering starts off innocently enougha clear directive with adequate illustration:
 But one must consider context:

(To the right is an equally wide swath of blank wall, not included because wall pics are boring.) 

October 18, 2012

The End Is Nigh (Guest Signage: Charles Gilbert!)

One of my favorite contributors spotted this lovely juxtaposition of healthcare and horror at his local pharmacy. Just what you want to see while filling your Lipitor prescription. Also, I get the impression "Your Time" was Friday, October 12. Please accept my condolences.