Targeted Marketing

I assume it's spicy.

What's in a Name? (Guest Post: Charles Gilbert and Erica Johnson!)

You may be more familiar with the marketing name, Canola Oil. 

Now I know what you're thinking, but the name change was not due to feminist fryers. Instead, the real problem was that the original rapeseed oil was so toxic that the FDA banned it for human consumption in 1956.

And rumors that a few Southern Senators from a certain political party (which will go unnamed) have reintroduced it in hopes of combating unwanted sexual advances are completely false. I hope...

Happy Holidays from the US Post Office (BSB: Christmas Edition)

During the stressful holiday season, leave it to the USPS to up the anxiety level by attacking our precious care packages.

I assume the puncture's placement is supposed to be ironic.

Bonus BSB Christmas Eve Edition

Copyright stamps on your gifts: one reason you should never buy wrapping paper from the dollar store.

Incentives!

With that bonus, who needs an hourly wage; I'm in!

Maybe? (Guest Post: Avalon Hoek Spaans!)

As a greater man than I once said, "The question is rarely asked: Is our children learning?"

Product Placement

And just to be clear, there's no hand sanitizer in the immediate area either. 

Perks of the Job!

And all along I've thought they did it for the high pay and great working conditions. Now I understand.

A Message for Wesley Snipes...

Although over two decades late, apparently someone didn't feel one of our favorite vampire slayers was getting enough action.

Cookin' with Grass!

From the same people who gave us repetitive wontons and food finding challenges comes "plant fried rice" and strong, if ambiguously worded, ordering instructions.  

Mixed Signals

I guess this explains why people jog in place at street corners.

"He-Man" (Guest Posting: Charles Gilbert and Erica Johnson!)

It's nice and all, but $6.99 seems a bit steep. It sure would be a "Christmas to Remember" though.  

Dad (to mom): Remember that time your son got me that me that random faded tee-shirt ornament?"

Mom: He's your son too!

Dad: Not after that. A tee-shirt ornament? I mean, really. There had to have been a better alternative. Like a lump of coal or a "World's Best Dad" mug.

The Place to Be!

Talk about a tourist trap. We could always rename Times Square "Diabetes Central."

Helping Nat Out (Odd Jobs)

This is a bit picky on my part, but shouldn't that be "Assist Nat, Director of Collective Development"?