May 29, 2012

Same Soup, Different Day ("Thoughtless Food" Series #1)

Okay, I know it’s low-hanging fruit to pick on Chinese restaurants for spelling and grammar, but the “Lomein” in pic 2 is only the start….

My local Chinese takeout/buffet line restaurant had their “Grand Opening” for over a year-and-a-half before moving on to an identical sign, minus the opening announcement. That’s one hell of a coming out party, if you ask me. I guess it all depends on how long they plan on staying open. If they’re going to be around for a couple of centuries (like a dynasty), perhaps the year of “opening” is appropriate.

But even that’s not why this gem made the list. Instead, I’ve brought this sign to your attention for the tagline “We Change Some Items Daily.”

While I admire their honesty, I have questions:

How many days it takes for all the items to change?
How many days has that steamed dumpling been sitting on the buffet?
Was it originally steamed, or did it start as a raw dumpling, but after days of sitting untouched in the hot, clammy buffet environment become “steamed”?

Either way, I think I’m going elsewhere for lunch.

Finally, we have the “All-Day Special.” Aside from the shocking 10% markup, I have one thing to say:

If it happens all-day, every day, it’s not special. As Ben Gibbard says, “It’s not a party if it happens every night.”

Speaking of The Postal Service, a great memory of mine is when a girlfriend posed the seemingly innocent question “Have you heard of The Postal Service?”

Needless to say, I maintained my snobbish, unaware aura:

“Ummmm, yeah. The rain, sleet, hail, snow people. I think we’re all familiar.” 

May 27, 2012

Guest Signage Sunday: Bathroom Humor #3 (Size Matters)

Welcome to another Guest Signage Sunday. 

Today we have a third installment in the bathroom humor series, courtesy of Kyle Heckman

True, this isn't really a grammatical failure (although I love the double use of "aim"), but it just might be the most successful of our signs since it draws on one of the greatest forces of nature: the bruised male ego.

May 22, 2012

Bathroom Humor (#2)

I have to admit, I was glad to have instructions, since I have clearly been going about this in the wrong order all along. Hopefully, by posting this I can help some other folks who "Paper first and the The Flush."

May 20, 2012

Special Guest Post! "Mobile Entertainment" by Charles Gilbert

Today we are fortunate enough to have a guest post, sent in by my good friend Charles Gilbert.

This sign earns its place in the blog for raising several questions.

1. Has Apple finally completed world domination to the point that they get product placement in building rule signage?

2. What exactly is a "removable radio"?

3. And the even more troubling question: What exactly is an "immovable radio"?

4. Do these people believe the iPod is a radio? Or are the two unrelated, like "we are not responsible for lost items and the sinking of the Titanic"?

5. Finally, I wish I had been the one to visit this place; just look at all those signs! Probably some other good material. Maybe it's a sign display shop. Or a museum of signage. In any case, I think I'd get along well with these people.

Thank you Charles for the wonderful addition!

May 15, 2012

Bathroom Humor

Sure, there's the bad grammar, the failed punctuation, and the sad toilet, but honestly, my favorite part is the gas mask. Those of you who make this necessary know who you are.

And remember: Although confusing, the name "toilet paper" should never be mistaken to mean that it is paper that you put in a toilet. Paper that you use near a toilet? Maybe. But in it? No!

May 8, 2012

This Is Not A Test . . .

. . . Well actually, I guess it is. Though it appears to be a pretty elaborate test. Not to mention, an odd sign to come home to.

May 1, 2012

Buy American

In a stirring show of devotion to the American economy, NYU shut off hot water for almost two weeks rather than use dirty, foreign water made by underpaid and overworked clouds. Hats off to such a respectable establishment. I personally would have preferred replacing all of the hot water with Evian - of Fuji, if we're really desperate - but I appreciate the sentiment.