May 29, 2012

Same Soup, Different Day ("Thoughtless Food" Series #1)

Okay, I know it’s low-hanging fruit to pick on Chinese restaurants for spelling and grammar, but the “Lomein” in pic 2 is only the start….

My local Chinese takeout/buffet line restaurant had their “Grand Opening” for over a year-and-a-half before moving on to an identical sign, minus the opening announcement. That’s one hell of a coming out party, if you ask me. I guess it all depends on how long they plan on staying open. If they’re going to be around for a couple of centuries (like a dynasty), perhaps the year of “opening” is appropriate.

But even that’s not why this gem made the list. Instead, I’ve brought this sign to your attention for the tagline “We Change Some Items Daily.”

While I admire their honesty, I have questions:

How many days it takes for all the items to change?
How many days has that steamed dumpling been sitting on the buffet?
Was it originally steamed, or did it start as a raw dumpling, but after days of sitting untouched in the hot, clammy buffet environment become “steamed”?

Either way, I think I’m going elsewhere for lunch.

Finally, we have the “All-Day Special.” Aside from the shocking 10% markup, I have one thing to say:

If it happens all-day, every day, it’s not special. As Ben Gibbard says, “It’s not a party if it happens every night.”

Speaking of The Postal Service, a great memory of mine is when a girlfriend posed the seemingly innocent question “Have you heard of The Postal Service?”

Needless to say, I maintained my snobbish, unaware aura:

“Ummmm, yeah. The rain, sleet, hail, snow people. I think we’re all familiar.” 

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