Rock the Bells

I'm so tempted to lead a bell choir into this office and wreak havoc.

Basic Requirements

Are you qualified?

Location, Location, Location

So close, yet so far...

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Font

Today's offering starts off innocently enough–a clear directive with adequate illustration:

 But one must consider context:

(To the right is an equally wide swath of blank wall, not included because wall pics are boring.) 

When Only the Best Will (Kinda) Do: Inside the SIAS

Not all, mind you, but some.

The End Is Nigh (Guest Signage: Charles Gilbert!)

One of my favorite contributors spotted this lovely juxtaposition of healthcare and horror at his local pharmacy. Just what you want to see while filling your Lipitor prescription. Also, I get the impression "Your Time" was Friday, October 12. Please accept my condolences.

Clarification

I assume this is for people whose vision is solely restricted to signage.

Circular Logic: Odd Jobs

Following this flowchart, I don't know if anyone has enough experience for this position. Either that, or it's a convoluted way of writing "5 yrs of F/T exp."

Listen up Alligators: No Swimming for You! (Guest Signage: The Gonzalez-Hoek Spaans Family!)

I'm not convinced the gators are going to read the sign. And who swims in a forrest anyway?

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...

"Mr. Falafel" of Park Slope received some big-name press coverage.

Either it didn't turn out well or Mr. F needs some help picking his quotes. 

Helping Nat Out: Odd Jobs

Because spellcheck has yet to be invented. Yes, this position also demands excellent written communication skills.

HP is Timeless (Guest Signage: Erica Johnson!)

I guess we're in a widespread time warp this week, probably caused by Joseph Gordon-Levitt's unwillingness to fulfill his obligations (see Wesleyan's and the Snapple Theater's time-traveling antics).  

Here's Hewlett Packard living in the past, present, and future.  

Get Me to the Play on Time!

A follow up to Sunday's piece on time warps:

As a theater goer, one of the main pieces of information you need to know is the play's start time. Some plays are more enigmatic than others. Take Perfect Crime, the longest running play on or off-Broadway. (Regular readers may remember Perfect Crime from this posting regarding it's elaborate maze to the box office.)

We arrive at the building and are in luck - signage abounds:

What do you say we see the Sunday evening performance? 

Great. I'll meet you in the lobby at 7:05. 
Out of curiosity, what's that sign on the right say?

Yikes. I'm running late! Okay. I'll be there at 6:50. Now to buy tickets:

You've got to be kidding...

Full disclosure: I work here when not photographing signs. Below is my favorite Sunday-start-time interaction:

Patron arrives at 7:45

Me: "The play's already started; I'm going to have to put you in late seating."

Patron: "What time did it start?!?"

M: "About ten minutes ago."

P: "The sign downstairs said it starts at 7:15."

M: "Yeah, that's not helping your cause. Follow me."