New Food Challenge: Chicken and Broccoli!

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To the growing list of internet food challenges - including the Milk Chugging Challenge and the Cinnamon Challenge - add this game of hide and seek from my local Chinese Restaurant.
(Warning: If you don't know what these challenges are, you might not enjoy the linked vids.)

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Don't Ask for $74,134: Odd Jobs

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Because a $31,261 salary range would just be absurd.

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This Title Intentionally Left Blank (Guest Signage Thursday: Alice and Leon Harbron!)

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We've all seen this before.

In a book, it's quirky, but understood.
In a PDF conversion of a book, it's lazy, but I let it slide.
But as a single sheet of paper? That's uncalled for. And yes, the back is also blank (although not "intentionally"...).

This is why we need healthcare reform.

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Look Closely

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I'm dyslexic, and I still find this disappointing.
But there's hope: The good people at FKR are currently looking for a Graphic Specialist with a "keen eye for detail" (see below and apply here).

Two thoughts:
1. Did they not ask for this in the last hiring cycle?
2. We've seen this before...

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Apply . . . NOW!: Odd Jobs Series

Talk about cutting down the applicant pool. I tried to write this one up several times before admitting defeat and going with a Venn diagram. Enjoy. And if you're one of the lucky ones with one year and 11.5 months experience, start counting the days so that you can time your application just right. 

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Have Job, Will Train: (Guest Signage Thursday, Odd Jobs Edition: Erica!)

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Don't worry about prior experience, qualifications, or skills. As a Keystone Industries Personal Assistant, you will be an excellent organizer, communicator, and multitasker, whether you like it or not. You will provide excellent administrative support. And you will have a friendly attitude.

Basically, you're going to be awesome in a number of ways. 

So you know what I thought: Perfect job.

Then I saw the list of requirements. Yikes! 

Luckily, only the Bachelor's Degree is "a must." I'm guessing etymological skills are optional.

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This End Up

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Nothing suggests top dollar like a repurposed sign, but I'm more concerned that they needed positioning instructions.

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Quality Control: Odd Jobs

Prince Mohammad Bin Fahd: "As part of the interview, we ask that you demonstrate your abilities." Bad Signage Blogger: "Okay." PMBF: "What do you think about subject #1?" BSB: "What you have here is a high quality female." PMBF: "Impressive. What about subject #2?" BSB: "Clearly, a mid-quality male." PMBF: "You are well-studied in your craft. I'll have to check your refere-" BSB: "Sorry to interrupt, but one further observation: If you're making a US sitcom, they're a perfect match." PMBF: "You are good, my friend. You're hired!"

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Sexting for Dollars (Guest Signage Thursday: Morgan Sills)

Today's PSA:

Do you know that almost all teenagers have "Experienced with phone"? And 30% of them with smartphones? 

Young women lead the charge, gaining Experienced at a rate of 100 times a day!

I know that many people benefit from toys and other experimentation, but there's gotta be a line. That iPhone is going to make us obsolete.

Personally, I believe in emoticon-only education; it's the only way to effectively reduce the spread of TTDs - Textually Transmitted Details.

And what does this all have to do with calculating totals anyway? Maybe you have to fill out an app for this position.

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Dress Appropriately

As we suffer through yet another broiling week, I want to take you back to the cooler days of springtime with a Cinco de Mayo forecast:

• The overall forecast is partly sunny, but for the foreseeable future it's cloudy.
• As of 12:58 pm, it is 57 degrees. 
• In two minutes, it will jump seven degrees to a downright mild 64.
• The day's high will be 66 degrees.

          but,

• From 3:00 - 4:00 pm, it will be 68 degrees.

Thanks, Yahoo.
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Odd Jobs: Model Employee

I don't know about you, but there's only one place I turn for higher education administration employment listings (whew, that's a mouthful): WWD.

That's Women's Wear Daily for you squares. 

Truthfully, I usually look in Men's Health and Cosmo first. Then WWD.

I just like this posting because I got a chance to play the "One of These Things (Is Not Like the Others)" game.

Buy-Sexual: Guest Signage Thursday (Jessica Cornish)

For those who like some variety in the bedroom or simply can't make up their minds .

But even without the sexual element, this is still some bad signage.

It's definitely not a case of "you get what you pay for." I don't care what kind of discount you're offering, if I buy a pair of jeans, I don't want a blazer.

The store needs to offer a translation system:

Want a pair of shoes? Buy a hat.
Need socks? Buy some gloves.

Law(n) and Order: SVU (Sod Victims Unit)

"In the criminal justice system, lawn-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious waterings are members of an elite squad known as the Sod Victims Unit. These are their stories." DUN DUN


There was no body dump or AMBER Alert on a missing earthworm* to justify the crime scene treatment. Yet this carefully tended plot of land has been under investigation since it first sprouted up this spring.


Perhaps crime scene tape is the city equivalent to old men yelling "Hey, you kids. Get off my lawn!"

I know, non-New Yorkers might not think this qualifies as a "lawn." But trust me, this is prime real estate. I'm amazed they haven't turned it into a garden.

Anyway...Caution!




*A "puce alert" seems to more accurately convey the appropriate color.

Odd Jobs: Easy as ABF

From the Ivies: A job that requires a bachelor's, but not a working knowledge of the alphabet song. 

Also necessary: Excellent interpersonal skills. Really, I mean it. Fine, I'll say it again. Excellent interpersonal skills. And the ability to communicate effectively in writing, for ironic redundancy. 

Adding to the redundancy/confusion are the additional, required minimum qualifications.

Of course, the scariest part of this ad is clause "G." (I hate that they got me to adapt their alphabet).