Slow News Day (Guest Signage: Matt DiDonna!)

I imagine there was a lengthy debate at CBS's headquarters as to whether to go with Syria or Scotch Tape to lead the "Breaking News." To be fair, they both start with "s."

It's Tough

In a related story, Mr. Lautenberg's family held a press conference to express their condolences to the Governor and apologize for any inconvenience the matter may have caused.

What's in a Name? (Guest Post: Charles Gilbert and Erica Johnson!)

You may be more familiar with the marketing name, Canola Oil. 

Now I know what you're thinking, but the name change was not due to feminist fryers. Instead, the real problem was that the original rapeseed oil was so toxic that the FDA banned it for human consumption in 1956.

And rumors that a few Southern Senators from a certain political party (which will go unnamed) have reintroduced it in hopes of combating unwanted sexual advances are completely false. I hope...

Boy-Cot Bad Spelling

This "Call to Action" has been gaining momentum in the aftermath of the election, and truthfully it's a protest I can endorse. Just as long as I'm still free to eat Papa John's pizza should the urge arise. 

And it's drawbridge people. One word. Get it together.