The Future Is Here

When they said my Mac would come with "Time Machine," 

I had no idea how powerful it would be!

Great Scott!…e…

Hyped Up!

I'm no PR pro, but I'm still going to weigh in here and say 
this probably isn't the best marketing.

What If I Got a Suit?!?

I exchanged a belt at Sears. In return, they killed a tree.

8.5x11 paper just for reference

"Instant" By Any Other Name Will Taste as Bad

Call me a skeptic. 

So There! (to see it)

The Capitalization is One thing, 

but The punctuation is Right Out of A Jose Saramano novel.

It's "Take Out," Not "Leave Out"

A sin of omission by a new local takeout joint.

Watch Your Punctuation

I did not visit the site.

What's That?

Yes. Yes it is. 

Thanks for clarifying. 

Yeah, But Does It Have A/C?

So many open house dates! 

But don't forget to bring your special glasses. 

Nothing Is as It Seems (Guest Signage: Geoff Nichols!)

The most accurate of these is likely the "On Tap." I'm sure that Miller is coming to you in a bottle. 

Edibles! (Guest Signage: Ian Hoek Spaans!)

So is it the sandwich or the soda?

Follow the Rules

Equal Price for All

Every couple of months, my supermarket puts red and green lettuce "on sale" for $1.29/lb -- seemingly unaware that the "regular price" sign of $1.29/lb is blatantly visible. I stock up.

I Prefer Sour Cream

What's in your hair?

What a Deal!

Every few weeks, red and green leaf lettuce -- which normally retails for $1.29/lb -- goes on sale for $1.29lb. I make a point to stock up. 

I Doubt It

Don't hold your breath.

Initials

I appreciate the symmetry.

Formatting: Part 2

Not the route I'd have taken,

but a creative one.

FORMATTING IS A thing

And there's always punctuation.

Come On!

This basically looks like sarcasm.

As for the adult humor…

From Beginning to End

Floridians have mixed results when determining 

where things start and end. 

Titles Matter

Imagine my surprise when I walked by the conference room to see this meeting in progress. I then received disappointed looks for "showing up late."

The Path Not Taken (Guest Signage: Alina Gonzalez!)

Aww Nutsa! (Guest Signage: Perry Sutton!)

We've seen this before, 

but now with spelling errors (or Italian flair).

A Picture Negates a Thousand Words

The New York Times: "fighting for women's rights and ad revenue."

SAN FRANCISCO — There is the businesswoman, wearing a suit and glasses and holding a briefcase. There is the mother, smiling as she pours milk into her children’s cereal bowls at the breakfast table. There is the multitasker, holding a laptop in one hand and a baby in the other.

These stock images are familiar to anyone who has seen an advertisement or flipped through a magazine or brochure illustrating working women and families. And their ubiquity is hurting girls and women by feeding into old-fashioned stereotypes, says Sheryl Sandberg, the Facebook executive who has become an advocate for women achieving leadership roles.

Thanks for the Information (Guest Posting: Eileen Liang!)

Inappropriate!

Even if you're short a couple of letters, I would have voted for going with "Sai t Tho as."

Oxymorons (Guest Signage: Alina Gonzalez Hoek-Spaans!)

It might not be a typo, but it made me smile for a minute. And this offering spurred me to share some other moderately humorous jobs I've seen along the way. Enjoy the extended post:

Trust me, when you're Director III, you're not directing anything…

Is this a fancy name for an RA position?

"LIM College" = Laboratory Institute of Merchandising College. Make up your mind!

Never Mix Incomplete Sentences with Incomplete Words

As Quoted (Guest Signage: Ryan Holquist!)

When "kindness" borders on sarcasm.

Bug Apocalypse (Guest Post: Alina and Siem Gonzalez Hoek Spaans!)

Well, this is Kafkaesque.

Ageism!

Who's to say a 119-year-old couldn't do the job just fine?